Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
