I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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