There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
