i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
PANTIES FOUND
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