Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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