Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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