Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
