I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
