i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
