Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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