you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
