I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
