I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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