my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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