She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
