it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
