if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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