I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
