Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
