I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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