I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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