If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
How does it feel to date your dad?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
