it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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