things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
