You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
