Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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