Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Rumble strips road head = magical
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
