I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
