I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
