my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
