I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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