had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
