he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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