the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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