worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
