it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
