I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
