The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
