so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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