Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
My breasts were aching with rage.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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