remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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