Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
