I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
