Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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