Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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