I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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