Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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