Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
