Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
you never un-have a 4some
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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