Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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