Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
